Friday, January 25, 2013

Alien Probes, Gerbils, and Colonoscopes

What are things that people put up their butt, Alex?


 So a few years ago I had a near miss with colon cancer.  Since then I have been probed enough times to handle anything our alien overlords will throw at me once they arrive.  I never really know how much people are willing, or want, to hear about this topic once it's brought up and I think that most people don't know how much they dare ask either.  I suppose that makes sense and I guess to make things easier for you to decide if you want to continue reading, I will just hang it out there, not my ass exactly but that colon cancer is the topic discussed here.

To start off with, I was pretty lucky.  Early detection is the best prevention of colon cancer but it is difficult to detect due to the lack of symptoms in many people.  I had symptoms.  For those who are still reading, you are probably asking what they were?  For me, it was blood in the stool, plain and simple.  That doesn't mean you should wait until that happens to go visit your doctor.  In fact, for many people, if you wait that long it may be too late.  Some will never have any symptoms even if they eventually die from colon cancer.  So, if you have any reason for concern or if you have any close relatives (parent, child, or sibling) who have given you reason for concern, go visit your doctor - I'm talking to you brother and sister.

Now to be perfectly clear, I did not have cancer.  I had what I call "almost cancer."  I had a very dangerous polyp and a dangerous family history (sadly my uncle died very prematurely, which happened just a couple years prior to the discovery of my polyps) .  Colon polyps come in several types with some cell types being more dangerous than others.  The size of a polyp is a huge factor in cancer development too.  The most critical polyp they removed from me was of the most dangerous type and twice as big as what normally triggers serious red flags.  

As a word of caution, if you do ever show symptoms, do not do what I did.  I denied the severity of the problem and made excuses for why it was happening, such as believing without reason that the blood was the result of hemorrhoids (you know I bike a lot and sit on my ass a lot too).  To jump ahead a little, when I came out of the anesthesia in the recovery room, I was met by a very sober faced doctor.  He explained to me how the procedure went, which was now considered an operation because polyps were removed, and that we needed to wait on lab work to determine what was in store for the future.  He also explained, in no uncertain terms, that I was extremely fortunate to have visited my doctor when I did.  I was 34.

Don't make excuses!  Don't wait!

I feel it is important to add here that if you are younger than 50, or 40 for those with a family history (or anyone for that matter), and seeing your doctor for the first time for reasons pertaining to colon cancer, be very direct.  If you are anything like me when you go to the doctor, by the time you make it to the exam room, you tend to minimize why it is you are there.  Do not do that.  My general practitioner ordered the correct follow-up - a colonoscopy -  but largely because I stressed my family history in combination with my symptoms, otherwise the attitude was one of doubt for both he and I considering my young age and general good fitness.

So now what about the colonoscopy?  I find that when people discuss this topic with me, there is a lot of apprehension about having a very big camera shoved up your butt.  Anyone proficient in the gerbilling arts will have no problem with this procedure.  Actually, it is quite simple and painless even without that background.  I was under full anesthesia and had no awareness of what was happening and, aside from the requisite farting in the recovery room (yes it is required), nothing felt out of the ordinary.  I have been through at least 6 colonoscopies now and none of them have left me bow-legged either.

The real difficult part for me came in the days and weeks and months following my initial scoping.  Like I said, one of the polyps they removed turned out to be quite dangerous and required lab work.  If I remember correctly, it was at least a week, maybe two, of waiting on the results.   I also remember receiving the phone call while at my job and being in a very big and lonely warehouse.  The individual on the other end of the phone was quite direct in telling me that my results were back and that there was abnormal cell development.  I asked her what that meant to which she replied that I needed to schedule an appointment with my doctor very soon.  Things are a little hazy in my memory following that.  I vaguely understood the implications of this whole process having just watched my uncle die from colon cancer.

30 days following my first colonoscpy I was back at the hospital for my second one, then in another 90 days, and then again in 6 months.  Each follow-up was designed to determine if, or how fast, the abnormal cells were growing.  Without going into too much detail, this was an extremely stressful period for me and I was very irritable all the time.

I have since gone through a couple more probings and each one is more positive than the previous when I'm sitting in the farting room waiting to hear that the scope was clean.  Clean is an unfortunate choice of words considering all the farting and the very recent location of said scope.  I am now about 5 years away from my next visit and approximately 5 years past my initial visit.  I suppose the only reason I put this little narrative together was to demystify what happens for those who are interested and maybe prevent someone else from making the mistakes I made, i.e. waiting too long and making excuses and being dismissive.

Be honest with what is going on, both with yourself and with your doctor.  If you have a reason to go talk with your doctor about colon cancer, then do it.  If you have a family history with this or another medical illness, learn what you need to know.  It could add years to your life.

For information visit: http://www.ccalliance.org/index.html


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